Blog #7 Having a “Normal” Healthy body
Happy New Year all, I hope everyone is in good health and enjoying the festive season. Although I’m not a total all-in holiday type of gal, neither am I one of those “it’s just like any other day” scrooges. I kinda sit in the middle, like how I do with most things. I think it’s actually pretty great to get excited about the end of the year/new year – whatever gets you excited, no harm in that!
Yesterday so many people were either ALL-IN for the NYE madness, whilst others were totally against it. Again, I was somewhere in the middle: I wanted to get out there and enjoy the madness with the masses but also had zero intention of drinking and making it a big one. It was nice to recognise that and to go with it, so off I went – and I had a fantastic night! It’s been over 7 months since my last drunken-mistake, and I love nothing more than a sober NYD.
And that what life is all about, finding that healthy balance. Finding that healthy happy balance for you, in mind and body.
So being “normal” – Let’s get into it, shall we? Normal was something I never wanted to be. I made myself into something at school as a result of being bullied so I created a cartoon version of myself, this is my default: loud, drunk, rude, confident, crass. I turned myself into a larger than life persona, this was easier than being me: boring, simple, normal. I found different ways to stand out, and in my late teens, that was being thin, like really really thin.
It has not been easy, I’ve started to accept me, with my flaws, from cellulite to issues with my food and weight, I’m just a fuckin normal girl, now in a grown woman’s body, still trying to figure this shit out all on my own. Gone are the days when people looked at me in awe, wide-eyed and curious “how much do you weight?” “you look great, how did you do it” – keen for the magic answer that would be a little kinder than “starving myself.” And I am slowly getting used to it.
I’m not an expert, a life coach or a psychiatrist, but I’ve lived through the experience of someone who was able to take themselves from an eating disorder into a healthy happier place, and it is a daily practice of acceptance and some understanding.
For the last few years as I’ve yo-yo, nothing crazy like my low at 43kgs, but between 50kgs (a weight no one might recognise as dangerous, but very low for my height) and 60kgs, from skinny to “healthy.” But it was honestly the times at my heaviest that my clients would let me know, how they like having me as a fitness coach because I’ve got a “normal body,” when at my normal healthy weight. I smile politely, but Jesus, do they know how much time this “normal body” spends in the gym!
Being healthy is not only about your physical body, its about your mental state too. If you have a “great body” with an eating disorder, or obsessively counting calories, overtraining, or starving yourself, this, my dear, is not healthy and is ultimately unsustainable.
The more I think about this balance of health in body, mind and soul – It makes me more and more ok with being “normal.”
I cannot lie, do I feel healthy and stronger now than ever? Yes, I do. Do I have the body I want in an ideal world? No – but, I am done with fighting, or chasing this ideal of perfect. And that perfect comes with so many clauses, its never actually going to make you happy. But what I believe will get you closer to perfect, is finding some acceptance for you, your body, life and story are different from everyone else. It comes down to being authentic, honest with yourself, true to your body and soul.
So yeah, don’t get lost in over-elaborate 2020 goals you won’t be able to keep, but there is nothing wrong with using today as a day to reflect.
Happy New Year all wishing you the best start to 2020!